She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
