I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
