The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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