I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
