They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
