is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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