Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
