Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize