I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
