I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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