Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
