yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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