I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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