I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
