i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
