Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
