got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
