haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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