I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The Olympian is in my bed
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