I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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