i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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