In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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