if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize