So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize