im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We named our party play list daddy issues
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she smelled like a LAN party
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
