ugly people sure do ruin things
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
