her vagine was all disorganized.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
is that a dick in a sweater?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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