So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
