On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
