She's JV to your varsity
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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