He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i think im in europe. pls send help
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
