i'm lost and i look like a hooker
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
