The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
