my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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