i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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