if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
from now on my penis is your penis
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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