oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
