i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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