The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
