Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
