I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize