He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize