Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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