So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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