Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize