it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
