I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
