i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
