you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
