I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
