Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
