The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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