she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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