google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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