I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
