Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
There's always time for handjobs
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize